My little sister’s husband of twenty years is quite a piece of work. Busting with testosterone, the man is a burly bear, a work-machine, a snap-turtle, and a sweetheart underneath his very gruff exterior. Scott physically looks just like Kurt Russell, walks with a cocky strut ala John Travolta in Grease, and snaps at people like Henry Fonda in On Golden Pond.
He does have his moments though.
Like the time they were watching the World Series and the Star Spangled Banner was sung.
“Why do they have a spanish name in the Star Spangled Banner?” he asked Marlise.
“What do you mean?” she said.
“Jose, can you see…” He replied.
We’re still laughing.
But it gets even worse.
One of Marlise’s favorite songs is “Spooky.” I was standing next to her, baking cookies, while she was singing along with it on her stereo. She was grooving along, “Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little girl like you, spooky!” Then her version: “Like a goat you keep on humping me, so I propose on Halloween.” This she sang at the top of her lungs while dancing with her arms above her head and wiggling her hips.
I stopped mixing. “What did you just say?” I asked.
“What? Like a goat your keep on humping me so I…”
“You can stop there,” I say. “Those are not the lyrics.”
“Yes they are,” she says, her beautiful face turning red.
“No, they’re not. They don’t say “like a goat you keep on humping me” They say “Like a ghost you keep on haunting me, so I propose on Halloween.”
“No! They’re talking about a goat!” she replies.
“Um, no, why would they propose on Halloween if a goat was humping them?”
She thought about this. “They just don’t understand their own lyrics,” she said, laughing so hard she snorted.
“Did you ever think those lyrics were a little bit strange?”
“I never thought about it,” she replied.
Ah yes, Marlise and Scott, two peas in a pod.